Hard to remain patient with friends who focus solely on their own crucifixion. Get off The Cross, girl... we could use the wood!

Good dick the night before’ll have you in a good mood ALL DAY

i think about this from time to time

if your child cant administer narcan sorry i cant babysit for you

Turns out doing karaoke for years will make you a better singer

THIS IS ME CORE

All I want to do is walk a man on a leash in public while I get lunch

Explaining how in Turkish my dad calls me dad

Let me talk to SpongeBob

How it feels to really really like him

[having a panic attack] wow...... just like tony soprano ....

Run to play with an abortion rolled in glitter

I’m lowkey into cigars rn

I'm glad we could come to a misunderstanding