Cristiano Ronaldo Samuel Luckhurst Already guessing midfield will be last priority. We love neglecting that position.

Any other keeper in the world and you blame him for that goal. But I’m so used to seeing Onana being beat at the near post I just see it as normal.

Onana should be the General of the bomb squad.

Choosing between Onana and Bayindir in goal is like choosing which bloke to shag your wife.

PLEASE SOMEBODY EUTHANISE ONANA

Well it’s not even September and we only have one trophy to play for. Fantastic.

Imagine being a player and seeing your manager hiding during the penalty shootout. Fills you with confidence.

Said time and time again, this is pathetic. I’m a match goer and get so much stick from “top reds” when I go mad about the performances.

First impressions of Sesko aren’t great. Always said Watkins was the better choice. Imagine your £70m striker being last but one in the queue to take a penalty, shocking.

3 games so far and we have conceded 4 goals. 3 of those goals are as a result of poor goalkeeping.

Woltemade? Genuinely, never heard of him. Sounds like a Harry Potter character.

Can’t wait for Chelsea to visit. Garnacho will find out just how much we hate him.

WTF

Amorim Out.

I’m taking Martinez over Lammens.

This will be an all timer 😂😂

Fans wanting Lammens over Martinez are crazy. Love to know how many Royal Antwerp games they’ve watched to come to this conclusion. #mufc

Why have Leverkusen sacked Ten Hag after only three games?

Newcastle spent £266m on: Anthony Elanga (£55m) Jacob Ramsey (£43m) Malick Thiaw (£35m) Nick Woltemade (£78m) Yoane Wissa (£55m) And I thought our spending was horrendous over the years 😂.

Remember the pre-season we signed Onana and everyone got giddy because he gave Maguire a bollocking. Funny.