Guy who is about to make you an offer:

Not to be too precious about this but Sylvia Plath has living children who have spoken about how the glib cultural attitude toward their mother’s death is actually extremely painful for them

Good luck to everyone doing #londonmarathon2024 I will be at Mile 9 handing out Lucozade.
20% have been spiked with MDMA the other 80% laxatives I picked up from Croatia on a stag do, may the odds be ever in your favour

the smuggest person in your office is about to get 150% more smug on behalf of Children in Need or the like, anyways, good luck in the marathon

Welsh Swifties in the vicinity of Swansea, there is a permanent, purpose-built Exhibition to the life & work of Dylan Thomas, on Somerset Place by the Marina, that has been shortlisted for family friendly museum awards. Open Wed-Sun, 10am-4:30pm

Dylan Thomas also wrote an exceptional letter to a friend where he said if he didn't receive a response, he'd turn into a fly and die in her hair.

Man goes to the doctor, says 'I'm depressed'.
Dr says 'treatment is simple, go see Pagliacci, he wasn't earning enough to get by in the entertainments industry so he did a 3 week online course & now he makes mental health assessments for Serco.'

Stop asking me to clear this as clutter, Google, I'm never getting rid of this

Beautiful South: This could be Rotterdam or anywhere

Port of Rotterdam Authority: Could it absolute fuck

not being funny, but isn't this going to be a lot of the same suspects every year, no sudden scrappy underdogs entering Pier of the Year

Nigerian Fanta is currently taking the lead in my 'Fantas of the World' rankings, composed purely by me from soft drinks I find in off-licences, my true spiritual home

Our next Grave Matters event is on Monday 15 April at 6pm BST. Do come along, it's online, it's free and it'll be super interesting! Sign up here: ticketpass.org/event/EUPBXY/p…

History Fest at British Library has been absolutely brilliant. I'm absolutely covered in history. Bloody soaked with the stuff into my shoes. Historical lint in my eyes. Help. I'm drowning in facts

Conan O'Brien on Hot Ones is the greatest episode of anything I've ever watched on the Internet

Looks like you’re defending the child against Satan by using the legendary Shield of Gayness but whatever

the direct opposite of angry people holding things in local newspapers that made them sad is Zendaya holding a novelty croissant in Paris

pondering the big questions today: how many speedboats won on Bullseye, or sold on by winners of Bullseye, could have been used to fake someone's death