Them: How have you been? Me: Oh not bad, just keeping busy! Me in real life:

I thought I was supposed to see a superb owl at some point? Why are all these people playing football instead?? #WeWantOwls

*drinks tea* "Ow, hot!!" *drinks tea again approx 2 seconds later*

I've failed the CAPTCHA on this website like 12 times. What am I supposed to do with this?? Am I a robot?

Brain: Finish script plz Me: Oh ok, I'll start writing Brain: No write! Only finish 🥰

The rose my husband got me for Valentine's day apparently started wilting last night and I woke up to this:

Happy International Women's Day. Ways you can celebrate: - Raise money for a women's charity. 💰 - Tell women in your life how much you care about them. ❤️ - Obtain fresh misogynist blood for tonight's blood ritual. 🩸 - Support a woman-owned business. 💃

Today is 2 weeks since my second vaccine dose and I'm now at full protection, so you know what that means! Time to continue to mostly stay home but now it's because I *want* to 😤

The 2021 seasons 1. Sad girl winter 2. Vaxed girl spring 3. Hot girl summer 4. Pumpkin spice lattes

LETS GO GAY AGENDA!!!!

me: *needs to communicate with another human* anxiety: is this danger???

hi excuse me no one told me I had to give my body rest and water AND some vegetables sometimes, this is far too much maintenance and I would like a refund

even if you're fully vaccinated, the CDC still recommends screaming into the void about the existential drudgery of life at least once daily

Well I'm definitely mentally on my last leg. I may or may not have just yelled at a squirrel for trying to steal my cake.

SEMINAR, an original anthology show, episode 98: Magic is everywhere... often with intent, but occasionally when you least expect it. Featuring "Short Stories" by @underwoodfive and "Pep Talk" by Kaitlyn! pendantaudio.com/shows/seminar

just apologized to my phone calculator , so that's how my week is going

Me: I could totally apply for this position in children's animation My previous writing :