reading shit on my phone fucking sucks. but youll never catch me reading a damn 'book" in public

happy cinco de mayo evereyone

im the most immunest guy to state propaganda none of you are immuner to propaganda than i am

twitter would improve if you had to submit a pay stub before signing up. if you tweet ten times and a day and you have no job you should have your account banned. self employment doesn't count

white people love to say "have a good one"

welcome to the void

alright i'll bite; who's taylor shift? sorry... taylor... swift? who is he

woah

hahahaha how are sami "white" but irish aren't this is so funny

i really hope tommy shepherd has a horrible life i hope he gets divorced and i hope ted does something bad too but i won't post it here

when i was growing up i was coming home from lebanon when the tsa thought we were terrorists and stuck us in this tiny room for 30 minutes until my uncle farted so loudly i was rolling on the floor crying laughing and they let us go

happy birfday @purifiedrot i love u go wish her a happy bday rn!!!

dating is so easy. if they're thirsty get them water. if they show you a video of a cute raccoon say "we should get one as a pet" that's the easiest way to have 3 children

the best video games have minimal plot where you just go place to place and kill stuff and the best books are about an extremely racist guy who starts to feel a little bad about being so racist all the time. and the best movies are the fast and the furious movies

love how stupid and bottom-of-the-barrel this website is becoming. it's so cool everything on this website is now about nostalgia. and personally i can't stand nostalgia

me: obama is NOT listening to ice spice 😂 xiandong rice farmer i play badminton with on wednesday nights: 我认为她非常美丽并且有一个美好的灵魂

if anyone is wondering why poland as been so dimly lit lately, the germans all moved out and no one knows how to replace the bulbs

twitter kinda became the de facto "i saw it there first" among social medias but middle eastern whatsapp uncles sent me this video months ago and that's how i know this place has the yips

"handheld" is such a stupid term "gameboy" works perfectly fine