Reality has gotten so absurd that accurately describing what’s happening makes you sound insane.

Put the surveillance camera on your front door. Put the surveillance camera in your glasses. Put the surveillance camera in your headphones. Let us see what you’re doing in your house, in your bathroom. Carry this camera with you forever. Let us see.

Y’all are talking about voting and I’m talking about vampire-slaying and ISIS-style pedophile beheading videos on global livestream. Wake me up when everyone’s ready to get it cracking fr

It’s just straightforwardly true that having a baby is more important and exciting and impactful to the family as a whole than you getting a PhD.

bye VN 🥲🇻🇳

I’m about to meet a defector from North Korea and I need good questions to ask. fire away

touched down in Korea 2 days ago and I’ve been sooo so sick with the worst cold of my life the entire time I’ve been here 🥲

why didn’t anyone tell me I’m a borderline pro with a compound bow?

Korea has some good shopping (didn’t get to take advantage of it tbh) but it’s not even in my top 3 for coolest countries in Asia

I can’t get over how cool my butterfly looks now that it’s healed. AHHH 🦋

being back in the US is actually so depressing

I made enough money at work last night to live very comfortably in Vietnam for 2 months. how am I supposed to continue living in the US and commuting to California with this information?? I actually want to sell everything and start packing my bags…

I keep seeing 333 EVERYWHERE in the weirdest ways. who wants to take a guess at what insane shit is gonna happen to me in the next few weeks?

Judges don’t even give you a reason to release violent sex offenders anymore they just look at you like this

Maybe people will finally wake up

cats are so funny

my skin pisses me off BAD bro what do you mean I was breaking out the entire time I was out of the country eating clean, drinking enough water & exercise, and as SOON as I come back and sleep in my makeup twice back to back my skin is the clearest it’s been all year? bitch