Whenever I go to Moe's Southwest Grill I always get a John Cockstain on the front of my pants #welcumtomoes

Work is fart, fart is art.

Youuuuuuu are mah, brown eyed squirrel. (Brown eyed girl remix)

My boyfriend said he will kick all y'alls asses I didn't tag him in this tweet because he is busy painting my toe nails and doing laundry

I wish I was a masturbating tween

buts

Hi I just farted, nice to meet you

Today is the day we remember Jesus died for our sins then arose 3 days later to smoke mad weeds

Happy birthday Hitler. Also happy rebirthday Jesus #420 #weed

I love music festivals because you can fart whenever you want any nobody knows any different Big Guava Festival #music #festival #of #farts

Listening to Earl Sweatpants at Big Guava Festival and he's not even wearing sweatpants. I don't get it.

Eating Easter holiday chocolate in May while taking a shit is weird for a couple reasons.

I tooted and booted, and more than rooted to my seat.

Chin beards

Eye boogers in the morning, butt boogers in the afternoon

I believe that we will fart #USA #WorldCup2014

Potatoes

The best part about driving in stormy weather: everyone is too focused on the road to notice you masturbating

Boners boners bonkers butts butts butts butts