Happy Valentine's Day! Hope you're enjoying your flowers, or chocolates, or smug self-satisfaction at not celebrating Valentine's Day.

Oh the sweet splash-back of vomit filled toilet water... there's just nothing like it.

Open letter to white people. Let's stop over using the word "ghetto" when describing things like a 'Barnes and Noble' or an Apple Store.

Rick Santorum is my favorite future dead person.

@UrTinaTwat : "um amanda take a chill pill and a swimming lesson. you're going to be fine. " hahaha

@UrTinaTwat Alfredo Lettenmaier I totally forgot that it was first Thursday...

@UrTinaTwat yeah it totally stresses me out

@UrTinaTwat it makes me think of all the cleaning I have to do at my house

@UrTinaTwat lol omg I'm not that bad!

@UrTinaTwat my strange addiction! You could be on the show!

@UrTinaTwat peaking into purses and laundry!

“Thought Catalog: A Suicide Note From The Word “Moist” bit.ly/xJ2dYX” @newmanjames

My day has not started good with white people. Fuck they can be annoying.

Worrying u don't get the respect u deserve is a great way to ensure you'll never get the respect u deserve

Think #movie Into The Wild would of been better if Eddie Vedder covered "I think we're alone now" and if the lead character wasn't an a-hole

"I'm not the dirty weird bastard people think I am," @BobSaget says. He really is, though: esqm.ag/6010XttG

I still can't stop twerking.