This is Waffles. She’s very polite.

feels good af to eat 40 pieces of salami and let your phone die overnight

I would really love to see a show with TELLTALE (THE ALBUM) Good Grief🦋 and Broadside just throwing that out there

might fuck around and turn 30 real quick

i fucked around and turned 30

Sitting in a hotel lobby like 10 feet away from a guy in a full sailor uniform and my gf is having to physically restrain me from airdropping him a picture of a sail boat with the caption “You like what you see?”

my five year plan only requires a few acts of god

i swear, I open this app once every week and every time i do, i get like 200 more spam messages like its an email address from 2008. if someone has ever messaged me i need you to know it is in an elephant graveyard and i'll dig through that hellhole eventually

USPS tracking: Step 1: we don't think it exists Step 2: delivered

BIG news! Fat Bear Week will take place from September 23-30. The chubby cubby appetizer, Fat Bear Junior, will kick off on September 18-19. Stay tuned for bracket reveals, bear bios, and more details.

> plays traditional zelda > gets the bow item in the dungeon > the dungeon boss

i cannot escape Aleks Le 😈 DAREDEVIL | Marvel Rivals he's everywhere in every game i play in my fridge (twice) following me when i come home late at night REF DO SOMETHING

do you mind if i wear my black t shirt covered in pet hair to your fine dining establishment

having a horse run off on you in medieval times must have been crazy imagine if your car got scared and ran away and you found it a day later by itself at a gas station

Is he a squirrel?

lil vro thinks he's a pikmin !!

years later and still, the best chai i've ever had in my life was all because of Great Value Hozier in goddamn virginia of all places wtf