My Uber driver is trying to flirt with me but doesn’t speak any English so is using Google translate and honestly this is the effort I expect.

Third gift giving holiday I’m putting this out there for- I really want someone to create me a personalized blind date with a book set. Like whatever you think I need for a good self date night (take that as you will) and book I’d like. And a weekend to not talk to a single soul.

The secretary of defense found the first ever this email should’ve been a meeting.

What to read on the plane…

Just started crying because one day my cats are going to die. How’s your day going?

Who should I marry, though?

Words cannot express how much this man keeps making me fall more in love with him.

Not Bachelor in Paradise crashing the Azura Beach Resort website because of everyone trying to look up the resort. (I am everyone) #BachelorInParadise

Closing my move rings during We R Who We R feels right and just like that I’m back in the clubs at 22.

If I put together a benefit concert house show to raise money for the Texas flood victims, do we think we could get THE ALL-AMERICAN REJECTS to show up?

“This is a song about love. Wait none of yall are a weird CEO right?” - Dashboard Confessional

My favorite part of My Chemical Romance being mainstream again is watching everyone freak out about what they’ve always done like it’s something new.

I am personally requesting a Big Time Rush dance workout series.

Told someone “have the day you deserve” while kicking them out after they were rude to door staff. Man I miss venue work.

I’ve been on chat support with United Airlines for two hours, been passed around to three support agents, and talked to a gate agent all to get “¯\_(ツ)_/¯” as my help. I’m so mad at Southwest Airlines for making changes to make me look at other airlines. 🥲

Big day for #teamconrad

Okay hear me out. A shoot your shot singles party and everyone brings a specialty shot that describes either their type or why they’re single and then everyone gets drunk and flirts.

Dear lord everytime I try to give Southwest Airlines another chance I’m reminded how they don’t care about the customer at all. United is too expensive, delta isn’t consistent, and American…no. Who we flying these days?

I was starting to question it when I landed in the Denver airport. But seeing William Beckett with The Academy Is... was so worth this pit stop from CA to TX.