I've said it before, I'll say it again. It's 2017... why isn't hold music better?

@Lallypb i'd settle for no static, but I like where you're headed with this

I literally just said "we'll continue to have convos" on a work call. 🙄 TGIF!

#NuggsForCarter !! x.com/carterjwm/stat…

do we all agree that if you receive or send an email with no salutation (e.g., "Allison" instead of "Hey Allison") the tone is: do not mess.

i got glerups.nl slippers less than 24 hours ago. I didnt wear them to sleep, work out, or shower, but otherwise, they've been on. i'm in love

until there's a sarcasm font, here's a life hack: before you push send, read over what you've written. if you sound like a dick, try again.

"Today, put away the diplomat in order to protect your own interests" - Lunchtime fortune cookie. Buckle up, folks; this one, I'll obey.

Fool me once, conference bathroom sink with no soap, shame on you. Fool me 6x over 3 days, shame on me

Hey TSA when bags go thru the Xray and u r in line for bodyscan for 5 min & therefore not with them, it feels like you may get robbed.

at what age did you/will you stop taking a day off to celebrate your birthday? for me, it's NEVER! (and no, it's not my birthday)

the honesty of children is so refreshing: back of the Southwest Airlines plane, waiting to get off, tiny voice: "WHAT IS TAKING SO LONG?" #same

parmesan goldfish are the best Goldfish®

July 18. I have now finished two of the three leftover half gallons of lemonade from July 4. Floating away on a wave of lemons and sugar.

I’m A Woman, Shake My Hand, Damn It adequateman.deadspin.com/i-m-a-woman-sh… via @deadspin

2yrs today with @watsonanalytics IBM. you guys make me better every day & just when i think i've learned all the IBM-ese acronyms - nope!

Just got incredible five star service The Company Store in kittery Maine. Seriously impressed!

I am one of 220 people who received an email this morning. We're 38 minutes in and 5 people have replied all. TGIF!