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Welcome to Citizens Bank Park, Michael Lorenzen

It is not lost on me that not one but two groups of friends chipped in for me to get large gifts this reason (for a bike when mine got stolen and Riot Fest tickets bc I love the fest). Like why even be this way when you can send an e-giftcard lmao

Me every week but especially for the Phillies

Craig Kimbrel is my nemesis for life

Yay now fire Brian Johnson !!!

YES

Whoever invented ranch seasoning deserves to be kissed on the mouth!!!

sorry if I’m weird I had unrestricted internet access at a young age

doing this in the middle of the super bowl and seeing it get drowned out in the the thousands of tweets is horrific. free palestine

How come I got this for OJ’s death but not one for the eclipse?????

To the tune of the Burger King Whopper song:

Y’all are going to hell lmao PLEASE someone sell me Chappell tix at the Vic for a normal price ?!??

This is for INDOT Northwest you will pay for your crimes for always putting I90 under construction every year and never actually doing any work on it !!!

fuck. this rules. FUCK

This is for you Ticketmaster and Equifax Inc. !

“they’ll bounce back, no way the Phillies keep losing like this.” The Phillies:

Lifelong educator and future Second Lady Gwen Walz has been a huge advocate for college education for incarcerated Minnesotans 🥹😭

Rajoub was today arrested by the IDF. had his passport seized, and brought to a military interrogation center upon his return to the West Bank from Paris. His crime seems to be his insistence that Israel be barred from the Olympics. This response by Israel kinda proves his point.

FACT CHECK TRUMP: “People don’t leave my rallies.” TRUE: They’re carried out in body bags.