THEY SHAVED HER HEAD

Gentlemen, he said, I don't need your organisation, I've shined your shoes, I've moved your mountains and marked your cards!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The night was clear, and the moon was yellow, and the leaves came tumbling down

Parts Unknown Nashville

How many goals have dundee scored Gordon Sawers ?

I reckon I could keep a straight face through every Saturday Night Live episode ever, if you sat me in front of it

when I got my vaccine I was late, so I ran there, and when I stood up afterwards there was a little puddle of sweat on my chair

The most Scottish thing ever that I feel nervous as fuck for the next two weeks of lovely weather. So much pressure!

fuckin you tubers are a different breed of wank

Occasionally think back to that time a local videography company quoted me £1000 for a days filming

An international war crime

Lot of Da’s sittin googling “who’s maya jama” the night

Hungary just don’t give a fuck about COVID do they

transitioning back to this account as there is an older gentleman who follows my other account who takes everything I tweet too literally, and I can't deal. will channel all my shitposting to here. love aw ma followers so much

I've got fans. I've no got fans as well mind you.

I'm a grumpy cunt, but it is painful to hear people harmonise then not know what the fuck they're doing and start singing the root / octave

not to come across at too egotistical, however I think I've moved on in my life from playing in pubs to cunts.