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Lido chads lock 60% staked ETH—undervalued AF as ETF rumors swirl & corps suck up yield-bearing psycho gas. Revenue prints tendies when ETH moons (L2’s on fire). Fee switch soyjaks malding but degen brains see LDO printing once ETH becomes crypto’s reserve coke. Load bags now.

Viral pygmy hippo Moo Deng’s Thai zoo b-day bash pumps Solana degen coin 33% to $183M. Peaked at $336M last year before imploding. Zoo party hype: mascots, cake, US embassy “gift.” Other Deng tokens flatlining—bagholders stay rekt.

Qwatio got rekt betting against a pump as crypto soared post US-Vietnam trade hype. BTC +2.5%, ETH +5.8%, and his high-leverage shorts got liquidated EIGHT times in five hours. $15M+ up in smoke over ten days. Another degen, 0xFa5D, dumped $6.8M trying to revenge-short ETH.

Solana's degen trash MOODENG (Thai hippo meme) jizzes 50% after Upbit listing July 3. Peaked $0.23, then dipped lmao. Mcap $200M, volume BTFO to $370M. Koreans ape KRW/BTC/tether pairs. Google Trends maxed. Wen rug?

MicroStrategy stock pumps to $407 despite NY lawsuit FUD. Law firm Pomerantz crying "muh securities fraud" over Bitcoin strategy risks, but degens keep buying. 597k BTC chad move cements crypto dominance. Case outcome might wreck corporate crypto accounting cope.

USDC gets REKT by USDT on BitPay—2024’s 85% dominance crashed to 56% by May 2025 while Tether’s Chadcoin surged to 43%. Despite Circle’s MiCA copium and EU dickriding, USDT moguled 70% payment volume by March. USDC’s cap mooned 88% ($61.7B) vs USDT’s lame 40% gain to $158.3B.

Boom! Gaming OG John Smedley (EverQuest, PlanetSide) apes into Web3 with Reaper Actual — AAA shooter on Etherlink (Tezos L2). Studio DPS bagged $30.5M from Bitkraft/Brevan Howard. Tradeable skins/chars, "player-first" copium. Alpha coming.

Pakistan’s crypto mining hustle to burn surplus electricity got cucked by IMF, which nixed subsidized power for miners. Feds fear cheap energy tariffs (~$0.08/kWh) would wreck the already-garbage power sector, like old tax breaks that screwed the economy.

Coinbase adds SKY & USDS to roadmap—SKY pumps 11% to $0.091 (now $0.081, +6.7%). USDS volume spikes 65.7% to $4.9M. Degens FOMO but trading not live. Needs market makers & tech. SKY’s MKR 2.0, USDS = DAI on steroids. Same ol’ Coinbase playbook.

Turkey caps crypto degen vibes, axes PancakeSwap & 45 sites with "unauthorized" BS citing some law. Dexes pumped $325B in June—so regs now demand ID for $425+ trades. Oh, and no crypto payments since ’21. Fml.

Sweden goes full degen, cops now rug-pulling crypto & swag from randos without charges? Flexing $8.3M looted already, including some poor chick’s $137K & Rolex at the airport. Meanwhile MP Nordin simps for BTC as national reserve cuz ‘merica does it.

DOGE double bottom alert! Broke LTF trendline, could moon to $0.25+. Chillin’ at $0.17 now with $0.15 as last cope zone. Descending channel breakout maybe? Whale dick cluster at $0.177 – smash that and ride to $0.206, then full degen send to $0.36.

FTX estate freaks over payouts to 49 clown countries with crypto law FUD. China’s 82% claims face freeze till local crayon-eaters confirm compliance—send funds, risk fines or jail. Normies rage, degen lawyers call it a big-brain move against regulator dickriding.

Aussie feds rekt $123M crypto laundry ring after 18-month probe. Syndicate rinsed dirty cash thru front biz & classic car sales, layered via fake crypto trades. Raids nabbed $170K in shitcoins, froze $21M in dumbass boomer assets. Four perps cuffed, more soon.

BREAKING: Ondo Finance scoops Oasis Pro to moon into SEC-approved tokenized securities. Oasis’ CEO joins Ondo’s crew, dumping their broker-dealer, ATS, and TA licenses on the table. Ondo’s now charging at US apes with RWA trash after launching that $250M Pantera collab fund.

Ethereum turns 10 but still getting flak for slow speeds & boomer UX. EF's Stanczak shilling long-game hustle despite Solana/Aptos hype—loyalty to L1/L2 synergy & staying decentralized. Staking rewards tempting institu-apes but real OGs stack for principles & security.

Bitcoin whale wakes after 14-year coma, dumps 40k BTC tanking price below $108k. Satoshi?!? Belgian cronies get 12 years for kidnapping crypto wife’s ransom plot – cops beat ‘em to the bag. US GOP slams "Crypto Week" burning CBDC cringe, pushing Trump-backed stablecoin laws.

Crypto Collapse Carnage: FTX and Terra-Luna rekt countless degens. SBF rotting for 25 years, his ex-Caroline copped a soft 2. Do Kwon dodging trials while Terra's ghost haunts bag-holders. Celsius scam artist Mashinsky caged for 12.

HBAR looking sus after a 5% weekly pump – altcoin degens might be catching some hopium but TA signals exhaustion. Flipping the 20-day EMA ($0.155) and breaking $0.153 support could send this baby tanking hard to $0.141 or even $0.124. Only a Hail Mary bounce past $0.

XRP Stoch RSI overbought again, primed for 25%+ rugpull. Bears eye $1.14 (50% dump) or Xanrox’s mega-*rekt* $0.60 target. Cope bulls still screeching $3.70-$27 hopium. Charts look dogwater unless it pumps. DYOR, regard.