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Just imagine the Oval Office in three months: It’s either Donald Trump in there, stewing over his enemies list—or me, working for you, checking off my to-do list.

Marginally better than Buckfast I suppose. bbc.co.uk/news/articles/…

HOW DARE YOU ENTERTAIN US! What’s funnier is the genuine outrage in the replies. Either it will be shit, in which case who cares, or it’ll be awesome in which case lucky you.

Right. I came off here a while ago because of the toxicity and pathetic behaviour of Elon Musk. But it's just been gently pointed out to me that I left behind a lovely little community of fellow bereaved parents. So, I'm still here if anybody needs anything, just a lot quieter.

Ghostbusters on in the background for Halloween… “Bustin’ makes me feel good”?!?

This is fantastic - the random interactions you get at football.

One for Hello, This is Ivan

I can only guess that following Hello, This is Ivan has led to the algorithm bombarding me with stuff I assume he’d like (or probably knows already).

Until tonight I was not aware that there is a popular singer called Celeste. Until tonight, 5 lovely women from Liverpool weren't aware that there is a French avant-garde post-hardcore, post-black metal band called Celeste. Sadly for them I was not the one at the wrong gig.

This sketch should be about two thirds shorter, but still accurate.

Arnie did about twenty Japanese commercials in the 80s and 90s, and they're all insane. I'm not sure what product is being advertised here, but I can only presume it's some kind of liquid hallucinogenic.

Reading this article’s estimate of 700k Russian casualties in less than 2 years of fighting in Ukraine, it’s occurred to me that that’s around the same number of UK military casualties in 6 years of WW2. bbc.co.uk/news/articles/…

Who ordered poppadoms?

See there’s a new Pink Floyd album…

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No.

Dan?! Accidental Partridge