my first ever "first date" was at a steak and shake and there were a couple of claw machines in the back. despite knowing that they were a scam, I was determined to win a squishmallow for my date and spent TWENTY DOLLARS trying to get one for her. i didn't win. she laughed at me.

when I came out to my coworker the first words out of his mouth were "is tranny a slur? Can I call you that?" Gotta admire the balls it took, if nothing else.

look guys it's me

I DON’T KNOW HOW TO FLIRT. I JUST DO WHATEVER I AM TOLD UNTIL THEY ARE IN LOVE WITH ME OR I DIE IN THEIR NAME

once again reupping my coin cauldron for offeringsss…asss my lover and I flee thisss wretched houssse we art required to pay to get rid of fleasss we doth not have ò.=.ó any contribution to our moving fund would be ever meaningful ko-fi.com/ifiwasawyrm

poet? I hardly know it!

Welcome to the world, kid I hope you enjoy your stay Don't mind this pile of pain over here It's just from those that we've slain You ask why didn't we do something You ask why didn't we change? Well all the people who would've stood up are busy having nightmares in their graves

an online friend of mine was just randomly walking down the street and happened to see a venue and HOZIER'S PERFORMING TONIGHT??? SO SHE BOUGHT TICKETS AND IS GOING NOW??? I'm so incredibly excited for her and also a teeny bit jealous

i went rock climbing and then helped three friends move in the next two days. BAD IDEA EVERYTHING HURTS

If thou doth not know me, or have hardly communicated, thou cannot “playfully” insssult me (PERSSSONALLY) asss if thou’rt a friend. I know ye not. It isss rude. Regardsss, The Dragon

🖤

COLLECTIVE ACTION HAS RESULTED IN EVEN GERMANY HALTING MILITARY EXPORTS TO ISRAEL. IT WORKS.

in honor of unreal unearth's second birthday, im announcing that when I saw Hozier live, he said my name multiple times (yes it's a lyric in his song, let me have this)

reminder that supporting/promoting the reboot funds jkr and shes gonna use the money to fund transphobic campaigns!!

wow guys look, I'm so cool that Hozier followed me 🤩

breaking news: local guy forced to get out of bed even though he is so so comfy

"do you guys want to help drop my hair on a passerby?" -my friend who just shaved their head and was standing on our fourth floor balcony

interaction bait, go!!! (keep in mind that I am in a loving relationship and this is just for funsies)

reply and i'll rate it all!!! • header: • pfp: • username: • fav thing about your acc: • should you post this too: