me leaving the club at 5am completely naked and stuck in a chair

feel like all religions could benefit from some kind of dreidl

Guess Who looking ass

Still not really sure how people are dying in house fires. Feel like I could make my way out of a house fire easily. probably just go thru the doors like i normally do

My mother-in-law was just out walking her dog and sent me this… love the idea of the old boy wandering round the park showing his coffee pals what he got up to at the weekend like he is showing photos of his grandkids #AFLGrandFinal #AFL #BrisbaneLions

red. Me and her

we'll finally get to see tanya plibersek doing a scomo photo op failing to high five someone who's lost everything in what scientists are tentatively calling an "omegafire" and we'll all have a good laugh with memes despite knowing we'll probably have to do some wickerman shit

out of prison ama

Lone

100 years old today..

Western Australian natural gas is clean, comes straight from the ocean; it's what's known as a 'benevolent gas' By contrast, the eastern or 'Guinea-States' use coal-seem gas. Known by its street-name "Honk", it burns black & sooty, is made from the blood of the horseshoe crab..

"Is there a Lebanese race?" the longest examination in the history of the Federal Court, halted by the judge after 12239 days of heated debate

The saddest thing I've ever seen in my life, is a single gum boot, sitting in the middle of a picnic table. I was coming down from meth and I cried for hours after seeing it. Doesn't seem like such a sad thing now of course, but at the time it seemed a very sad thing for sure

I got charged with stealing a bike from outside the pub. Doesn't seem right to me.. What kind of world is this where they make it a crime to steal a hungry bicycle? A little tiny bicycle?

I'll never pronounce Turkiye the new woke way. I've been calling it Turkey coz they're a bunch of bloody turkeys. It's just a coincidence that everyone else called it Turkey also

thinking about how the first saxophone prolly only had single key/button thingy

perfect date ruined as museum staff discover the 2 burger rings Ive dropped into the gold-coin-for-entry box

came across a pristine iPhone 5 today and... lol

(hours later and still refusing to admit I misspelled my own name) So, im taking the spelling of Jameel to strange new places....