Why is finding cheap flights so fucking hard ??? Or am I just really poor ??

thread of businesses i like but piss me off...

Was so drunk last night that my Face ID didn’t even recognise me

Can I pay on Klarna for my petrol

Not trying to be negative but could you imagine having a child

“Fun fact..” is it fun though?

Not to bring it up but I just remembered Matt Hancock’s fifty shades of grey moment and I feel queasy

Is there anything more underwhelming than checking your LinkedIn notifications ??

I would choke myself with it

It’s 04:25 and I am craving a salt and vinegar crisp sarnie with Lurpak butter

Also why is Facebook so BLEAK. I want to live in dreamland please stop posting about reality !!!!

Nah this jet lag is real and am fuming about it

Time for dinner

Has there ever been a moment in time thus far that beats Gareth Gates overcoming his stutter on pop idol ?? because I truly don’t believe there is

You can only have a shit in the same coffee shop twice and then you must move on to a different one to continue the reign of terror. They’re the rules !! Currently looking for a second spot x

That’s there’s no easy way to clean a cheese grater

About to shit myself but nowhere is open yet because it’s Sunday so I’m hovering outside Wetherspoons until I’m about to explode so I can run in quickly. Criminal to be in a Wetherspoons before 11:00, so I’ll just be here waiting xx Dying xx

Update: The mention of the word shit sent my bowels into panic. Thank FUCK that it’s only men who vacant the premises at 09:11. Thank you xx