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So my cousin and his wife got an email from their sons teacher. He didn’t do his hw so she asked him to write a paper saying why he didn’t do his hw and this is what she got...😂🤦🏼‍♀️

Boom! Roasted. (S5 E13)

Innocent child: *dies in Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory* Oompa Loompas:

If you look good, you play good 🎭

Did the unborn babies also kill a man, a woman, and the woman's two young daughters? Because if not, I'm failing to see the comparison point.

No shame in playing #SQLDataWins—I chose #CleanUp to complete the meme. What about you? cards.twitter.com/cards/18ce54ej…

I’ve never seen something more human from a robot than this.

*Wife turning on wiper blades* Nobody: Wife whispers: “You’ve been a dirty car haven’t you?”

New Rick Ross tonight you know what that means

Black Friday is right around the corner but in the meantime, we’re giving away a backpack filled with hundreds of dollars of gear, gadgets and more! Enter here: theverge.com/2019/11/4/2094…

Another word for “Wall Street” is “pension”, “401k”, and the mutual funds that regular Americans put their savings into. Stop trying to pull a fast one on us.

The Astros hitters next year when they don’t know the signs

I pray to God that Democratic primary voters in Super Tuesday states and beyond watched 60 Minutes this evening.

I hope people are paying attention to what’s happening in the American media right now

WHAT THE FUCK DID I SAY

Looking forward to empathy from Joe Biden and Kamala Harris here.

#MahomesZoneSweepstakes adidas

I bet it feels amazing to be the quarterback who says "I'm going to Disney World" after winning the Super Bowl #Qbs