One day you’re hot, young and fun and the next you’re a little too into the NYT mini crossword

I don’t really go for hot girl walks but I do go for gremlin walks where I leave the house looking like a train wreck and begrudgingly admit that the fresh air is helping me rediscover my will to live

drake:

this is how it feels to ask to use PTO

me doing wordle & connections every night before bed

some days you gotta just set your brain to crockpot mode (cooking on low for 4-10 hours)

I can’t stand the overwhelmingly millennial cultural voice that says, “don’t just show up at my house for a visit don’t call me on the phone don’t ask me to drive you to the airport or help you move” you murdered community spirit & then started talking about a loneliness epidemic

men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over

Theres no such thing as wasting your 20s, your 20s are for recovering from whatever happened to you as a kid so that youre ready to get weird with it in your 30s

I'm not a good fit for the traditional job market because my greatest strengths are challenging authority, being self-righteous, and wanting to go home

Thursday affirmation

Y'all are not smart enough to be homeschooling children

white people love naming their cats some shit like “miso”

I hate meetings but they also make me feel important like “ugh i can’t do this rn i have a meeting in 5”