Are you even mid 40s if you don’t make sex noises putting your socks on

I was all ready to seize the day, but it's a fucking Monday.

Today is going to be a good day…or else…

*shakes glitter box

Today, I feel an immense heaviness in this frail thing we call life.

I can really recommend doing this

💔❤️

The worst thing about Sunday is knowing that it’s inevitably followed by Monday. G’night y’all

There should be differently working day/ weekend rules for people who only wind down from Friday by 10pm Sunday

You're usually more than you give yourself credit for. And you're usually more than you know. Your endurance has got you this far. Remember that.

Just so y’all know, I’m only getting out of this bubble bath because I was promised ice cream 🍦

So, I did a thing today and I can’t wait to see if everything will work out 🥰

It's Sunday. I don't move on Sundays and nobody can make me... 😪😪😪

Wait so she’s the bosses wife AND a stepmom!?
This movie is outta control.

Come dance with me and be a little drunk about it…

crying in the shower again beautiful?

Can confirm that being wine drunk doesn’t make ironing any more fun.

Kendrick Lamar and Drake have beef and I find that shocking. That they had a farm, and that they aren’t raising ducks.

E I E I I don’t know.

For Mother's Day, I will let you get on top and do all the work. It will be my pleasure...