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You saw what happened 2 weeks ago, we ain’t got it no more

Technically the truth

Guy inventing dressage: *so drunk* hey do you think we could get a horse to dance, via the ratatouille method Friend: what the hell does that mean Guy: we ratatouille the horse

I’m about to find the eigenvalues of the butter chicken matrix

Buc-ee’s is truly a monstrosity. A convenience store so large it becomes the most inconvenient shopping experience imaginable. Even the name defies convenience. Autocorrect almost begs you not to find one or speak of this Godless temple of man’s excess. 5 stars

:3

Ah yes the two party system

Let's not forget the REAL fastest woman alive.

fun electrical engineering facts: electricity flows fastest on red pcbs blue pcbs have the best thermals green pcbs are the most energy efficient purple pcbs taste the best

Going fishing and all you catch is a tin can and a boot with the sole flopping open — doesn’t happen as much anymore

we should criminalize being in a local band

we are all collectively hallucinating the existence of connecticut. it’s not real!

Last night was a trolley problem

not to be a hater but why would you waste your youth on pickleball when you’re perfectly capable of enjoying the noble sport of tennis

Oh god it’s happening again

skipping class for a month straight so i can teach myself the subject from first principles during the exam

being hungover on weekends is inefficient, you should wake up early on weekends and live your life. you should only drink heavily on weeknights so you can recover from your hangovers while on the clock at work

Putting this on my Volkswagen