Imagine having to run from the cops over a dime bag of weed.

-a bitter 90s kid

Don’t worry about some acne still happening in your late 40’s my dear girl I still get boners for no apparent reason like a 15 year old on the bus 😬

How do I go to bed so early you ask? I get out enough sedatives to knock Michael Jackson out and back it off just a touch

While I was on vacation, my mom was a victim of fraud. Her accounts are now empty. She is devastated, embarrassed and broke.

She didn't want to bother me when the pop-up appeared to call the fraudulent number.

I am angry and sad.

All I can do is this.

gofund.me/5aafadee

The hardest thing I’ve ever had to do was tell myself I wasn’t good enough for you.

Go away, go on, git

Dm: Hi there

Me: Are you sure you want to do this?

I looooooooove when people say that I can’t do something.

Forever girl in an instant gratification and immediate validation kinda world.

My shoulders are so tense it’s like they’re holding in a fart

For my next trick I’ll go home and spend an hour cooking a dinner that everyone will complain about

Slow clap, fuckers

Big facts

Home gyms are sweet, especially if you have a family at home or are crunched on time

However, I love training in an actual gym. Your environment influences your behavior to a large degree. So I find it much easier to push myself HARD when I’m surrounded by other people doing

All roads lead back to OnlyFans.

Your pics today are going to make me take my lust for you out on my sock tonight.

the kind of man that thinks i’m a snack.

I have no idea what you guys are talking about 99% of the time (bears etc) and I wouldn’t have it any other way

If you see this post a blonde

Me: what kind of class is this?

Them: Pilates.

Me: *removes eye patch* oh…

Life is all about those pivotal moments and even more about how you respond to them