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if you let your clothes touch the floor of a public bathroom when you’re sitting on the toilet and then sit on my lap or my bed i need you to seek help

i haven’t watched a single episode of love island in my entire life yet i know everything that’s going on this season 😭

love when i get fucked and feel open for a few days

i wonder if there’s ever been a gay guy that was so horny that he fucked himself with the toilet plunger

where do i apply to make the soundtrack for the next season of Love Island? i have some great ideas

a bottle of jungle juice gold broke in my bag and i just g*ped ant started drooling so much upon opening my bag

Going to a birthday party this weekend—my first proper outing since moving to NYC. Don’t know anyone, but a very very sweet boy invited me even though we’ve never met. Feels stupid to be this shy at 26, but I know it’ll be fineeeee 💫

why do my muscles always look bigger when I look at myself in the reflection of someone else’s bathroom mirror?

does anyone have tips on how to elongate your legs with sneakers and socks combo I feel Ike anytime I wear white socks I look like a 4ft renaissance clown

why the fuck is it so hard to find corner shops that sell little bottles of prosecco here in the states. i’ll have more luck buying a mini shotgun than a mini bottle of bubbles for fuck sake

i’m ready to be very gay tonight w/ goodest boy

there’s so many men in nyc with the most amazing legs i’ve ever seen spread that monkey and let me dive in!

had the best time 💕

people with 50 “i have never seen…” posts like, what exactly have you seen? anythjng?

i’ve never seen anyone look good in a jockstrap after shoplifting a Popeyes chicken sandwich on Christmas Day after hitting my mom with a car *patiently waits for the thirst traps*

oh baby boy 😮‍💨

why are there two different canal street stops with the same name but completely different subways? now i’m running late should i kms

to all my babes with thick long ethnic hair, i’m trying to make the most of growing my hair out long and keeping it healthy looking. are there any tips like oils or conditioners or things I can do when i sleep to keep my naturally wavy curly hair to look hydrated sleek n’ shiny