Good for you to enjoy a photo of the leadership of P&R and by definition the Bailiwick of Guernsey. Unrivalled political experience, an exemplary commercial track record, and universally popular with the working class. On top of that we have Deputy Soulsby photobombing.

Sometimes I mistakenly refer to Deputy Soulsby as Jane and Deputy Gollop as Cheeta. It’s easily done when you’re a dead ringer for Tarzan.

.My forehead is available for premium brand sponsorship opportunities.

Heartfelt pleas by the people of Jersey to install Lyndon as the next Chief Minister have been devastatingly misunderstood by their Government. Awkward.

Lyndon Farnham sounds like a character on All Creatures Great and Small.

Busy day. Just got off the phone to Lyndon Sunak, he was having a right whinge about Lyndon Biden and Lyndon Putin.

As Chief Minister and Chairman of Guernsey Finance I was embarrassed by the rebrand unveiled this week. I’ve fixed it.

I’m the best ever at saving fields. It reminds me of my very successful career as a professional farmer.

Jersey appoints Ministers for Health, Justice, Home Affairs, Children, Education, Environment, Social Security, Housing, Communities, Internal Development, Infrastructure, Economic Development, Treasury, Resources and External Relations. Guernsey appoints the Trottzilla. Booyah.

My new walk on song in the Assembly. Up from the depths. Thirty stories high. Breathing fire! HIS HEAD IN THE SKY! TROTTZILLA! TROTTZILLA! TROTTZILLA!

I can’t be around to carry Deputy Heidi Soulsby MBE all the time, so we had this post installed.

.The promotion of policy on diversity and equal opportunities is thriving under my leadership. Also, please don’t worry about this situation, I’ll keep an eye on things.

In his Guernsey Press column Richard Digard has an opportunity to embrace his man crush and wax lyrical about my exemplary leadership, commercial brilliance and Adonis like physique.

* Thinks progress can be made this term addressing the structural deficit. * Won't be giving up his 8 directorships. * Amendment to pan-island ombudsman role policy letter incoming. * Thinks Unknown is very funny.

25:45 into this interview, my parody, Lyndon Trott, says he wants to buy me dinner but will keep my identity a secret. bbc.in/3Sp00Kj

I was delighted for Minister Greg Hands that he got the opportunity to meet me.

I told him Jersey loves green.

.10 years ago ‘they’ were trying to rebuild La Mare De Carteret claiming it was in a dilapidated state. What a turnaround under my leadership.

With unrivalled experience it is my duty to mentor other world leaders. This morning I had a delightful catch up with the Spanish Prime Minister to talk about myself. At the the end of the call he said “Mentor Trott you have huge cajones to do what you do” “Well….”, I said.

Neil Rinder and Lyndon Rott announce X (Twitter) retirement We have shared a wonderful year as Unknown but it’s time to move on and start causing problems elsewhere. I leave with great pride that my true identity remains a glorious secret. Mwahahahahaha Lots of Love Gavin