Ugggh. I’m sitting over here eating carrots like a goddamn asshole. Last week at this time I was washing down pizza with a side of tacos. I swear, being lean better be fucking phenomenal 🙄😤

Ok maybe a little mad

Hey guys. Chope says that he wants you all to have a really good day.

He didn’t kill you in your sleep…yet.

HOPPIPS ARE FRAUDS 😡😡😡

Me watching basketball on a normal day: “Hey my team is winning. Life is good!” Me after spending a little too much time on DraftKings: “I don’t care if we’re up by 30, if this random dude doesn’t get his 8th rebound in the next 3 minutes, I’m ending it all!”

Super Bowl predictions: Tee Higgins has more receptions than Chase. Burrow gets sacked 5+ times, at least twice by Donald. The Rams win a close game, but I could see it going either way. Odell gets at least 50+ yards. The over/under is super low but kinda like under.

ODELL 😻😻😻

Cuddly boooooy

I’m way better than Toshi9227’s washed ass confirmed. No one tell him though, he can be sensitive about it

People only stay alive because Chopy deems it acceptable

We live!

One of these days I’ll remember that I’m making eggs and not burn them. Not today though.

Hey guys. Sorry I haven’t tweeted in a while. Toshi9227 had me locked in his basement again. How have we all been?

Are y’all still checking expiration dates? Cause I’ve just kind of adopted an “If it’s my time, it’s my time” mentality. This cheese could be from last week or 2017, impossible to find out.

This is a really offensive tweet because it implies that good old Marge can’t be a traitor and an idiot at the same time. It’s 2022 guys, Nazi Barbie can multi task.

I hate to do this but I need to call out a really prominent member of the PoGo community. Toshi9227 brought me with him to Columbus and then left me in the hotel room the ENTIRE WEEKEND. Didn’t even let me meet anyone, just kept me shoved in his bag. I was excited too! 😭

Nah cause why they gotta do my boy Jidaho like that?? 😭😭

So what have I missed??