“Thank You for calling Paisley police station. Unfortunately all of our officers are currently out on another job….Please hold and we’ll connect you to a 16 year old, clinically obese PCSO”

On this day in 1980. Dexy's Midnight Runners were at No.1 in the UK singles chart with “Geno”: Written to honour US soul singer, Geno Washington.
Yes I stole it, so you Fuck Off!

Adil Ray: The even dimmer years

“Cracking Thrombosis Gromit.“

Just in time for the May 2nd elections Rishi Sunak and Conservatives are able to successfully oversee the first flights to Rwanda

The 4* Rwanda Holiday Inn, prepares for its first guest….

That’s me on the rope. I was a tad late, as I got given the wrong postcode.

“I’m finding it increasingly difficult to do two jobs, knowing, that as a Tory I’m going to lose one come the next general election. By switching party’s, I have a good chance of being shit at two very well paid jobs, way into the future“👍👍

With the “Vig”, I now owe the cat £20K 😱

Who plays the parents in your biopic?

Advertise your account with one image…

Caravans, you say…..🤔🤔

I have started following the online Navy SEALS workout routine. It’s OK, but the bucket of fish for breakfast is a bit off-putting ☹️

The same David Lammy went onto celebrity mastermind and when asked, “Who succeeded Henry 8th”? Answered “Henry 7th“ 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Leaked training video from the elite “U.K. Border force Animal Section” shows highly trained operatives the correct method to stop Albanian horses from entering the country

Apparently “Terry and June” have been given a “trigger warning” by the BBC. Probably the long lost pilot episode, where Terry comes home early and finds June “Pegging” the transsexual postman (played by Derek Guyler) 🙄🙄

Scientists at Imperial College, have discovered that Meteorologist Jim Dale is massively contributing to global warming by breathing through his nose 😱

R.I.P. Frank Field. The HOC will be a drearier place without your yodelling 😢😢

The Lord Giveth and The Lord taketh away 😱

And despite not going to public school, smashed the class barrier, by being partial to Bum. 👍👍