Tell me you need to get out a bit more, without actually telling me you need to get out a bit more!

Glass of wine or finish my VAT return?

My mate’s brother took his own life 2 weeks ago. My friend returned to the house today to collect clothes for the undertaker. Whilst at the house he had to remove the rope he’d used to make the noose. That’s just so fucking sad 🥲

The Mo is getting itchy, the pornstar look is getting there! #Movember

Salt and vinegar Disco’s and a glass of chilled, crisp Chenin Blanc. Dinner of the gods x

Good morning, you sexy bar stewards! It’s wet and miserable out there today! Take care if you’re driving x

Remember when the Poles came to the U.K to better themselves? Remember when loads of Eastern Europeans left the U.K when we left the E.U? The clowns that wanted them gone, now laud them!

Is Joey Barton going to be the next one to find God?

Today’s driving album! How, in the name of Mick Hucknall, is this album 39yrs old? An absolute classic!

Me tucking the old fella between my legs and talking in a high pitched voice won’t make me a woman! Robert Jenrick having a pint in his local, wearing a sweater, trying to be a “normal bloke” is its equivalent.

It’s a pity Trump can’t go back in time to take down the BBC before it subjected us to Mrs Browns boy’s

Benn is in the driving seat tonight

4 weeks today I’ll be in Dubai on my month away for Christmas. My kids are getting cards and money for Christmas. The knowledge of knowing I don’t have to bother with a tree or anything else related to a glorified Sunday dinner is absolute bliss. The grinch is escaping this year!

Does anyone on this app still see tweets from folk they used to interact with? It’s total garbage now

Do any kids polish their shoes on a Sunday night before school tomorrow?

Discovered a pic of me in Madame Tussaud’s from 1988, age 19 😂😂😂

My world, right here ❤️

26hrs of a 48hr fast in the bag 👍