When I was 14, I came home really depressed one day because I'd been bullied, and my Dad gave me some really great advice, so I did go have a big fucking cry about it

Quarantine creates bad habits

Engaged couples with only 4 real friends must be stoked

"Who do you think you are? I made you!" - Me, quarantined, talking to IKEA furniture

The government's limit on gatherings is now a max of two people at a time. My two kids are about to find out who my favourite is. . . #kids #COVID19Aus #covidcomedy #Lockdownaustralia #comedy #standupcomedian #favouritechild #Sydney

Quarantine Tip #1: Are you stuck at home while your stircrazy pet drives you nuts??? Tone down your furry friends energy levels by feeding them less!

Sometimes, being ironic is enough

Is it a small world? Or do we both just know too many people

Please please, Mr Witcombe was my father, call me Dr Witcombe

My comedy has been described as being nothing but lazy pullback and reveals, also it was my Mum

Being an open mic comic and sleeping with another comedian is a terrible idea, especially the being an open mic comic part

Trying to write a joke but not sure if it's been done before - anyone know whether any comics have a bit about how Men and Women are different?

If we're texting you can write 'cya' or 'how r u', but if you write 'color' or 'definate', I'm going to have to say something

I vowed to live with no regrets...huge mistake

In the middle a double blind placebo study, so far unsuccessful, they're both still blind

I couldn't afford a personalised number plate, so instead I just got a regular number plate and a new nickname

Whoever proofread Mein Kampf was a real grammar Nazi