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Imagine if Paul Skenes came over and just beat the shit out of him

One interesting thing about being a Bears fan is that you are constantly punished by the Lord for what you have done

Tomorrow night! Come see me tape a set with an amazing lineup eventbrite.com/e/comedians-yo…

Everywhere you turn people are talking about it the Emirates NBA Cup ™️

Christmas Boy 12/19 at Union Hall FT: Mike Hanford Clare O’Kane Ahri Findling Geoff Asmus Courtney Maginnis nick naney Steve Malden Casey James Salengo Pat Byrne Chris Donahue Kevin O'Brien Comedy and music and mirth and joy Tickets: eventbrite.com/e/christmas-bo…

One of the funniest people out there watch it NOW

Bill Belichick went to Chappel Hill? His old ass needs to go Chappel Roan

Sightings of the Grinch in multiple NFL arenas yesterday have shaken me to my core

TONIGHT: The 18th Annual 50 FIRST JOKES Hosted by John F. O'Donnell! 50 Comics. One Mega Show. 1st New Joke of the New Year! 7PM Doors ∙ 8PM Show Low Ticket Warning! 🎟️: tinyurl.com/2d9a677r

Oscar Nominations came out this morning. He is so brave.

scrolling right into our graves 🎤 Liza Treyger: Night Owl is now playing only on Netflix

Luka to the Lakers? What’s next?? Laka to the Lukers?! I’m not doing well lots of bad stuff in my personal life

Just reported for jury duty only thing I’m a bit worried about is that the trial will be for a crime that took place the same night I hit that deer with my car

New set on YouTube with Cracked.com ! Check it out and share! youtu.be/JVdXJY98CHc?si…

Netflix with ads an amazing experience it just cut off the middle of a scene in Schindlers List to show me a Kevin Hart DraftKings commercial

📣 I'M TAPING A STANDUP SPECIAL w/ 800 Pound Gorilla Media! 🗓 Saturday, May 31 📍 Union Hall ⏰ 7:30pm & 10pm 🎟️ Tickets: eventbrite.com/cc/emmy-blotni… 😍

CHICAGO! Do the right thing and bring everyone you’ve ever met to this show

“Dying Joe” is killing me