All the other Pygmy hippos in the world are thinking, ‘why her?’

If I were just starting a band we’d already have split up because I’d be trying to change our name to, Escaped Capybara.

kick, punch, it’s all in the mind

You can also be wrapping your lips around Sexwhale's mug. infinitebacon.com/mugs x.com/chrisporkerweb…

Hello, Dragons. My proposal is a menu for people over 50 with large text that glows in the dark.

I’m now printing kids tees! Sizes 3-14 years. You can buy that special little person in your life a Tokyo tee here: infinitebacon.com/tshirts/childr…

metaphor

He ate the sink.

Pause on one boob tweet on my ‘For you’ page. Shut down Twitter. Open Twitter beside my gf Entire ‘For you’ page is boobs Turn to my gf She’s turned into a giant boob Throw phone on the floor Floor is a giant boob Room is a giant boob House is a giant boob World is a giant boob

I always think about the fish below this and how it’s like a tsunami, but for fish.

It's #BatmanDay2024 Here's April 2025 on my calendar. There's a limited supply but you can buy yours here infinitebacon.com/shop/p/nerdlin…

Looking for new film suggestions as an English person is substituting the word ‘film’ for ‘movies’ because you’ll get a bigger hit.

I just hope America gives gay people the vote this time around