This right here.

You know you're an adult when you spend five minutes finding a safe place to fart.

Vacuum cleaner designers need to chill the fuck out.

Why the eff doesn't the puppy bite himself as hard as he bites me?! Little bastard!

I think I just offended the cat with my morning breath.

I'm SO stoked for you Lisa!!!! #TeamScinta

Join me & help SHIFT the public's perception on North Korea w/ Liberty in North Korea VIDEO: libertyinnorthkorea.org/shift #shiftNorthKorea RT

AMAZING! A MAN SHELL FISH IN THE WILD! MUST SEE!! vine.co/v/b3FLhLeXz0Q

How I leave Rooms After Turning The Lights Off Because I'm Scared 😧 vine.co/v/hqI9viOVxiH

#anamcara

Amber Alert issued...Suspect could be driving through WA to get to Canada in a blue Nissan Versa CA# 6WCU986. chp.ca.gov/amber/Missing2…

Somewhere Kelly Rowland is eating the hair Beyoncé cut off, hoping to absorb her powers.

Dear Daughter: I Hope You Have Awesome Sex goodmenproject.com/ethics-values/… via The Good Men Project

Life's a fight of wrong and right that's tearing me apart.

Please help as much as you possibly can!! gofundme.com/seanlund

Yassssss!!!! x.com/rotciv50/statu…

Flying chicken breasts at Fujiyama! #vagroinasquad Victor Gonzalez

Guy behind me at Safeway, buying scalloped potatoes and pb. The FUCK you makin', bruh?! Lol #vagroinasquad Victor Gonzalez

Sexual attraction is not enough for a meaningful long term relationship. Without emotional intimacy, physical... fb.me/1ApyOKoZG

I just hot boxed myself in the shower with a Chex Mix fart...