Meanwhile in culturally enriched Britain...

Busy today, my peoples 10am public flogging 12pm lunch with the Burmese ambassador 2pm sleep of the lunch 4pm hareem session 6pm draft appeal for international aid 8pm flight to visit yacht showroom in Naples #HailMaputu

My last birthday party looked a lot like this

I swear to God, if Mugabe thinks I've forgotten about the £20 he owes me...

Sorry... That's my bad. Never drink and mortar on an empty stomach

CITIZEN WARNING A fire haired demon has been spotted near the capital! Remain in your homes. Troops and witch hunters are en route #StaySafe #HailMaputu

Thank you people's of Britain I has bought myself a yacht on top of an aircraft carrier Keep the monies coming...fuel is bastard expensive #HailMaputu

Oh mate...

Today I will hold a Cabinet meeting to discuss our latest request for foreign aid to help our impoverished nation #HailMaputu

Just when you thought the West couldn't get any more enfeebled... bbc.co.uk/news/health-42…

Citizens rejoice! I today open new bastard big interstate bridge. Only 4 years behind schedule and $2.1b over budget #Progress #HailMaputu

If you need to ask...

You're going to be eaten alive when the next war comes

Weekend is here Only joking. To increase productivity Saturday and been renamed "Second Thurday" Get back to bastard work... #HailMaputu

😂😂😂😂 x.com/spectatorindex…

...and I thought I was a comedy account 😂😂

Thank god France has gun control otherwise the shootings today could have been deadly.

I approve

Truth

4hrs after North Korea publicly demolish their (and the world's) only nuclear test site, Trump cancels the summit. Banter