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I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat

this is what my gut microbiome looks like

hate it when i cross the street and a car don’t hit me

the only red flag about me is that im just too good to be true

sorry to ask but are you fucking dumb

I don't care if you're french just don't do it around me

spongebob wouldn’t even fw some of yall fr … but he’d hangout with me bc my heart is pure and i like to laugh a lot

i love telling the truth because okay now what

protect children even if they aren't yours

I cannot take hints. I need you to spell that shit out for me

Why tf was her daughter lunch 40 damn dollars? fuck was the school serving?? hibachi??

life is so boring when you don't have a package on the way

animals be 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Someone should write a song about peanut M&Ms ❤️

apps that pause my music piss me off

Going no contact with myself goodbye bitch

Where tf is the moon

My husband got me hogwarts legacy on the ps5 I’m about to wingardium leviosa on these bitches

I may or may not have played Hogwarts Legacy for 3 hours straight