I’m in an elevator. The door opens (not my floor). A man goes to get in... MAN: “Are you going down?” ME: “No.” MAN: “Are you going up?” ME: (under my breath) “No, sideways! What do you think this is, the Ministry of Magic?” THE END

Oh my god I LOVE this! Did everyone see this girls post last week re the guy who was a Pr**k on Tinder about her outfit? Well guess what @ASOS have done!! put her picture on their website selling the dress, making her THE MODEL of their lace midi dress 😍 👏🏽 Thea Lauryn Chippendale

“This is the quickest way to make your water get hotter more quickly” - Albert Einstein

I won one of those blow up things at Bongo's Bingo and this was the result.. I can’t even @_AshleyWills

When you see a tweet that’s just a little funny

Just in case you didn’t know who was behind this piece of clothing...It’s Marc Jacobs. For, by, with, next to, opposite, parallel parked by, cooked by, taught the Tango by, had a facial by...Marc Jacobs. By Marc Jacobs.

i’ve looked like this for a week now

That was emotional 💙

I’m gonna give away $5,000 to 3 random people who retweets this and follows me! ❤️ Quarantine is lasting way longer than expected and I wanna keep helping out. Love you guys ⭐️

War hero Tom Moore aged 99 to be knighted! #CaptainTomMoore  - Sign the Petition! chng.it/hfWS7GQn via Change.org UK

21 today and my dads woken up out of his coma today and wished me a happy birthday 😩😩😩 the best day of my life

'Behind you John Torode, you're on fire! FIRE JOHN!' 🔥🔥🔥🔥

Minneapolis District Attorney : RAISE THE DEGREE - Sign the Petition! chng.it/JJ8nsKF8 via Change.org UK

Human Rights Campaign: Justice For Ahmuad Arbery - Sign the Petition! chng.it/nwQ8HnHg via Change.org UK

Alabama Governor Kay Ivey: Willie Simmons has served 38 years for a $9 robbery - Sign the Petition! chng.it/rYjDXV4r via Change.org UK

Prefeitura do Rio de Janeiro: Justice For Joāo Pedro - Sign the Petition! chng.it/qWMj7LMZ via Change.org UK

Pleasant Grove Police Department: Dismiss the charges on Marshae Jones and charge the one who shot her and her unborn baby - Sign the Petition! chng.it/QpdJ7kJR via Change.org UK

Louisville Mayor Greg Fischer: Justice for David McAtee - Sign the Petition! chng.it/2YxQNJFv via Change.org UK

Change​.​org: The Minneapolis Police Officers to be charged for murder after killing innocent black man - Sign the Petition! chng.it/S6Rb969m via Change.org UK