i mean, i’ve seen baby pictures.. i think.. now you’re making me overthink!

you’re not gonna let this go aren’t you

yeah i mean… i can talk to them. like, out loud. but if they ever replied i’d have no idea what they’re saying. so it’s more like… one-way communication.

man…

oh.. yeah no, no telepathy or anything. that’d be cool though, right? like, ‘spider squad, assemble!’ but no. i just… talk to them and hope they don’t bite me again. i think it’s a very healthy relationship.

let’s ask bobby then. 𝒃𝐨𝐛𝐛𝐲.

yeah i do get that a lot. people aren’t exactly lining up to be spider fans. which is fair, they’ve got way too many legs and i guess the egg part. but hey, one of them gave me powers, so i kinda owe them a thank you card or something.

that’s sick! you’re out here giving ice a mind of its own and i’m just trying to convince people i wasn’t born in an egg sac.

what about a fruit basket?

hm. that’s the first right thing you’ve said today. i mean gross, but accurate.

nooo you too?

no offense of course i mean.. you did say i was born in an egg sac like it was a fact. so we’re even.

okay, yeah technically. but only because you said i lay eggs, and i kinda panicked.

it’s not?

i don’t know.. it’s just weird being told i lay eggs when i know i don’t. apologies for the late reply btw.

͏ㅤㅤㅤㅤ 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘴 𝘮𝘦. 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘧 𝘯𝘰 𝘰𝘯𝘦 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳𝘴. 𝘮𝘢𝘺𝘣𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵’𝘴 𝘦𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩.⠀ ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

whatever floats your boat, man