me, presenting my WFH case to my holding company: “you see, ladies and gentlemen, each morning my cat and I have at least two hours of intensive cuddling on the couch. this is followed up by another hour of him laying in a sunbeam. furthermore—“

you will never catch me running for a crosswalk to go to the office. nope! after you, lil cars!

describe your relationship with your father in one photo. i’ll go first:

the inside of your airpods case is between you and god

caesar salad has this really gross way of making lettuce my favorite part of the salad

when your computer stops working and gaslights you into thinking you’re doing something wrong

lately c:

my apartment flooded. the family group chat was mostly united in their responses, except for Wyatt.

me: I have to work tomorrow. my grandpa, on his deathbed: good. it’s about time you did something constructive.

still can’t believe this is an official nintendo picture

Seeing Tim Robinson in the background of an itysl sketch is the same as when they have an animation cell on a static background that’s clearly about to move

ok, wordle??????

re-watching IBGITD: I think Patton Oswalt is my favorite comedian, actor, person to date. awesome story and dude. love who he is, comedian/actor he has become.

i am 1000% here for the culkin acting renaissance

me: how are the eggs I made you? grandpa: cold.

i will admit that i did not have “alabama river brawl” on my bingo card for 2024

my five-year goal? well,

If the Union Pacific Northwest Line has a million fans, then I'm one of them. If the Union Pacific Northwest Line has one fan, then I am he. If the Union Pacific Northwest Line has no fans, then I am dead.