Me 5 minutes after saying goodnight

“get his ass” is so hilarious. its like the modern version of “seize him

my fatal flaw is i’ll do anything for the bit if it’s funny enough

Happy pride month

AT LONG LAST! I FINALLY BEAT DARK SOULS 2 WITH A SAXOPHONE WITHOUT TAKING A SINGLE HIT FROM ANY ENEMY/TRAP THE WORLD'S 1ST SAX-CONTROLLED NO HIT RUN OF DS2 HAS BEEN DOOTED! Only the original Dark Souls remains before I can say I've beaten the entire DS Trilogy hitless w/ a sax

ㅤ

i'm built like this if you even care

Baseball fact: You are going to get what you deserve

doing petplay with deer girlfriend. i just hit her with my car going 55 on a country backroad

The 2000's really are back! New Fantastic Four movie New Superman movie Final Destination sequel Unilaterally bombing Iran 28 Days Later sequel

> go to lesbian birthday party at an island beach club > hot lesbian offers you a hit of her DMT vape > you think she’s joking > hit the vape > it’s DMT > you’re tripping on DMT > everyone looks like those fractal posters > someone says “We dropped 3 bombs on Iran. We’re at war.”

Flying rat! 😄🩷