Got the opticians today. I keep punching people who look like Keith lemon but aren’t.

machcomedyfest.co.uk/show/2024/matt…

Six Word Story. Snow, Miami, July. Scarface’s house bombed.

If I was Rod Hull, I'd have taken emu to some glory holes, scare the shit out of some local perverts.

booking.glee.co.uk/21165

awenboxoffice.com/whats-on/comed… Click on the link to see this fantastic show in a fantastic venue!! Leroy Brito Matt Rees Welsh Stand Up The Met Abertillery South Wales Argus #comedian #kingofwales #leroy #southwalescomedy #ticketsforsale #laughs #MustSee

bit.ly/CardiffWeekend…

Wll if you didn’t want me swearing at a Mr Tumble gig, how about selling merch in my fucking size!

booking.glee.co.uk/21003

I am diagnosed with Autism as of now doesn’t surprise me or anyone so it’ll be nice to retry some opportunities I fucked.

fixr.co/event/christma…

I'm from Maesteg. Maesteg's famous for two things: Kylie Minogue's Nan, and to a lesser extent, Danni Minogue's Nan.

I'm on mirtazipine which is an antidepressant that increases your appetite and decreases your sex drive. I rung a sex line earlier and said "So.. What are you cooking?"

Our Christmas Comedy Specials return from TONIGHT! 🎄 This week we'll be joined by the hilarious Nina Gilligan, Ignacio Lopez, Matt Rees Welsh Stand Up (Wed), Steffan Evans (Wed), Robin Morgan (Thu - Sat), Morgan Rees (Thu) & Peter Rethinasamy (Fri & Sat)! 🎁 🎟️ bit.ly/CardiffXmas

I like to sit on my hand before doing a pile of ironing so it feels like someone else is doing it.