There’s something in the sunset orange hue of work zone signs that tricks my brain into thinking I am Max Verstappen

Behind the scenes of ShopRite Stores paper bag testing: “Hmm, this new paper bag prototype can support 2 pounds of weight without tearing. SCRAP IT! That is far too durable for any paper bag that we may put in our stores.” #ShopRite

Guys there’s just not enough room for baseball in the Olympics there are more important/serious sports to be played

I read that Steve Kerr’s childhood doctor invented the Baby Bjorn after recognizing that the young Kerr would need to always be carried

“Duffy was all over him like the plastic on your grandma’s couch.” -Mark Jones (Colorado vs NDSU)

We’re Costco guys of course we love watching Lincoln Riley lose

This SEC on ABC broadcast is so, so gross

Colorado is such a joke 😭😭

Oklahoma immediately tarnishing the good name of the SEC Network by eking out a win against the mighty Houston Cougars in Norman only bc the Houston RB chose to run backward into his own end zone

Happy to see we have top 10 FBS football being streamed exclusively on Peacock, a service to which I will NEVER subscribe!

Wild fact: As great as the Rizzler and Big Justice have been, we haven’t even seen what they’re capable of doing under a Trump presidency 🤯

. Food Lion let’s start pre-slicing the asiago bagels, huh?

My favorite part of the “if my team loses, I’ll do [some bad/gross thing]” tweets is when the person invariably doesn’t do the thing

Things that are in: - Getting fresh air - Norm Macdonald - 93/7 ground beef - Getting white boy wasted with your friends - The Sopranos - Lifting weights - The Rizzler - Natasha Bedingfield - Black coffee Things that are out: - P Diddy - Fast food - Lying by omission - Sad music

There’s really nothing quite like the ESPN app lag on the Scores tab

Who exactly does MY dryer think it is telling ME that its contents are too hot for ME to handle and will not open? Buddy, you don’t have the slightest modicum of an idea of what temperatures I am capable of handling

If this whole football thing doesn’t work out for Carson Beck, he’d fit right in as a vape shop assistant manager

Things that are in: - Calling things/people “the truth” - Buying American - Peter Griffin - 12 team playoff - Magnesium supplementation - Bean-free Chipotle bowls - Reading Things that are out: - A.I. - Ill-fitting clothes - Hawk Tuah - Obeying open container laws - The Kelces

Kinda crazy that, as college football fans, we were spoiled by the near perfect quarterback play of the current QB1 and QB2 of the 0-4 Jacksonville Jaguars