"l swear to drunk l'm not God, but seriously, stay in drugs, eat school, and don't do vegetables."

"STlLL WAlTlNG F0R S0ME0NE T0 TEXT ME AND C0NFESS THElR L0VE F0R ME"

"l fucking hate winter"

"0K, l'm getting out of bed in 10 seconds. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,9,9,9,9,9, ...."

"Don't ever be ashamed of who you are. Unless you're a hoe... Then be ashamed."

"Wow, seriously? 13 year olds having sex and getting drunk? When l was 13 l was injecting heroin and had committed my 4th murder, pussies."

"l don't hate you, it's just... Nope, l hate you."

"What's Michelle 0bama's favorite vegetable? Barackoli."

"Roses are redGrass is greenerHappy V DayPlease touch my wiener"

"Before sex, you help each other get naked. After sex, you only dress yourself. Moral of the story: No one helps you once you're fucked."

"on your mark get set die"

"l wake up everyday planning to be productive and then a voice in my head says ""haha good one"" and we laugh and laugh and take a nap."

"l'm not grumpy all the time. Sometimes l'm asleep."

"Hey Ray Lewis what's better? Winning the Super Bowl or getting away with murder?"

"""Dog Food Lid"" spelled backwards is ""Dildo of God""That is all."

"120% done with today"

"lf you're reading this, l hate you."

1,000 Pound Woman Loses 80% of Her Body Fat. (5 Photos) bit.ly/1YA0CKQ

"Wishing you could punch someone in the face with no consequences."

5ometimes you gotta Iet them breathe bit.ly/1YzZmrd