Like this tweet if I'm sick as hell and so many people should want to fuck me

Luv u, u freakin doofus

I buy shit to keep my hairline in check and now all I see is fucking ads for off-brand viagra what the hell

What if I twote a tweet that got like a billion likes. I'd probably feel really good for a bit before I felt incredibly hollow.

Ugh, that's my roommate, the god of the old testament 🙄

I'm like if Eminem was a rapper

Damn, girl. A sparkle in your eye produces more beauty than I will in my entire life

Alex, I'll take "devourers of being" for $200

You and me should smoke a weed sometime

Have you ever heard of hitting a police horse with your car?

There's no purer expression of humanity than pooping in an airplane bathroom at 30,000 feet

SCP-0981: Miles "Tails" Prower

I'm listening to A Sucked Orange right now and you can't fucking stop me

I don't know if this is really music but boy does it make me feel a certain way

Rockette Morton

Imagine thinking there is no more Rockette Morton, then BAM! 10,000 more Rockette Mortons!!

One thing I see a lot on here that I never see getting called out is accounts giving zero effort replies to every positive reaction a controversial tweet gets so you have to scroll a long way down to get to the actually popular negative replies. Andrew Cuomo

Get ur cat an oversized beanbag right now