After only packing 1 pair of underwear and no polos for my week long work trip. I've decided to remain sober until May 2nd (Kentucky Derby). I kindly ask for your respect and understanding during this time and request no questions regarding my decision.

I just got fucken abused on a 2 hour flight by a lesbian stud for the center arm rest

Me liking the same 10/10 blonde on Hinge every week

Timeout on racism

Doesn’t look good on paper

Get me back to gods country

I love talking ball about suburban parochial league #visvikings

Going to St. Louis next week. I already know that place is gonna smell like shit

Such a sardine can type of day

I had a dream last night

FUCK BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN

Spread offense tonight #4verts

I’m hearing colors and seeing sounds rn

Me 30 beers deep on the pontoon this weekend

I’m rocking furs on furs I’m probably beafing with peta

*ex girlfriend gets engaged* Commented on the insta post: “Big news for the unemployed”