Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.

If you see me with a water bottle, there's probably vodka in it

If I was always honest with you, we'd never stop fighting.

After divorce my wife and I split the house. I got the outside.

I know better. But do it anyway.

I don't often lose my phone, but when I do it's set on 'Silent'.

Never believe anything until it's been officially denied.

The beautiful power of no.

"Fuck it" - My final thought before making most decisions.

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

Don't worry, you will fail.

I've got a terrible fear of speed bumps, but I'm slowly getting over it.

The four most beautiful words in our language are: I told you so.

There's nothing to fear but fear itself. And spiders.

There's only one thing you can't solve with alcohol. Alcoholism.

How to make a girl mad in two steps: 1. Take a picture of her. 2. Don't show it to her.

Pets are “The 1%” of the animals.

The biggest cause of cancer in mice is research.

In the beginning there was nothing. And then things got worse.