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Man, today would've been Mark Twain's 189th birthday. Stay off fent, kids

Houston has an absolute TON of things to recommend it, including: —the Carmichael Theatre, the world’s biggest theatre in the round —the Whistler Museum —world-class hiking —the oldest living Samurai outside of Japan —3,000 miles of subterranean tunnels —2 thunderdomes

Let’s talk about the oldies that will never stop being Goldies!✨ Long considered one of the greatest novels of the 20th century, we’re sounding off on our SPECIAL COLLECTOR'S EDITION of #WilliamFaulkner’s American classic #THESOUNDANDTHEFURY! OUT 1/7/25: blackstonepublishing.com/products/book-…

(Scooby doo unhooking your bra) “ruh roh! rig raturals”

Dennis the Menace ass heroism

Me and who

New premade cover art with distinctly retro vibes. 'Satan Soda" Available

God:

Damn they playing ‘Butterfly’ at the gym, every rep today for you Shifty Shellshock

GOOD DOGS spotted face out at @BNBriargate Have you grabbed your copy yet? Thx Jeremy Schott!

Just found out one of my books is being taught at the College of Southern Nevada, so rad!

[Teller from Penn & Teller unhooking your bra] ………………………………*click*

Why do streaming-exclusive shows have recaps, is this for people who can’t remember what happened 30 seconds ago

Waiting on my CANDY CAIN KILLS/AGAIN order, so kicking off the Xmas season with some medieval horror, which always feels Christmassy to me

David Chase made a Sopranos movie in 2021 and has talked about making a sequel. I don’t believe this for a second

[kicking Humpty Dumpty and his boys out of my Super Bowl party] NO, you’re leaving. After what Pinocchio did to my stereo? I’ll be lucky to put it back together again by halfti— [realizing what I’ve just said]: oh bro. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean it like that

I didn’t get the job :(