So drunk I caught myself watching ads on reels

Going straight to Mingles when I get back

If you ever catch me eating a super dog kill me on the spot Seriously

Shits on your own toilet>

Reality has never hit harder than drinking dollar drinks in ames after studying abroad

Mickeys has no bitches

Sorry to all my gay friends I only want puss tnt

I’m after boobs n a blowjob tnt

Just gonna put this out there.. I’ve been a day one Mau P fan Love that he’s getting love tho

6mg spearmint = candyman

You’ve already lost if she’s typing in all lowercase

Normalize naming your kid after what you love.. goodnight Rumplemintze

Sat at the stoplight so long it turned green, must be a sign to blackout

Cup of hotel black coffee and a 6mg spearmint has me sitting crisscrossed on the pot

One more whisky diet out of a plastic cup might be the death of me

I won’t die happy knowing I didn’t see juice live

All fun and games til you’re faced w a fitted sheet

Friday 8 am.. David vs. Goliath pt. 2

If you don’t celebrate moms weekend you’re a fan

This was the prayer I didn’t need answered