Israelis do shit like this and then say the world hates them because of their religion.

I’ve made lemon pound cakes and regular pound cakes… but this sour cream one might be the best so far

good morning, y'all- happy Tuesday

I need drug dealer music this morning at a high volume but I'm in this office with other people...

Every year, I lie and say I'm going to Hampton's homecoming and I see no reason to switch up the routine this year (I graduated 21 years ago, and I've only been to HUHC twice)

I thought it was the equivalent of a silent clap- like validation when something is good

Have you ever been so overwhelmed with work tasks that you close all the tabs and decide to spend the afternoon doing nothing instead? because that's approximately where I am

Today, my 79-year-old mother got upset with me because I told her that since my daddy is 89 now, she needed to pay attention to how much gas is in HER car and fill the tank when needed. She told me it was unfair OF ME to be putting something else on her plate. IT'S. HER. CAR.

I've been proposed to 4 times. Apparently, I'm the kind you marry... just not the marrying kind lol

I'm sorry, pooh, but you NEED your ass whipped for this

The biggest scam is men convincing women we are the inferior gender but yet they need us to teach them to do everything. If they were actually meant to be leaders they wouldn’t have to force it.

there's no worse feeling in the world than the mouth sweats, because what's coming next is unavoidable at that point 🙃

*Before Elvis, there were the black artists he stole from. Fixed it for you.

I don't get anything done here. All day, people are talking to meeeeeee

Fred speaks on things like a 22 year old dumb ass and you know that by who mostly agrees with and follows him. Saying “your partner needs you to affirm sometimes that they are on the right track” is not the same as that stupid shit he said. Words mean things and he rarely strings

The idea of me, a grownup, being "trained" or "de-trained" by another grownup is... just... No.

My last partner threatened to break up with me because we weren't "social media" public- even though I introduced him to all of the people I love in real life. He said that wasn't enough.