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RT if you're going to masturbate this week. (Don't lie)

#ATFR, #thebachelorette Looks like Zach saw the red flags in the fantasy suite that Tino didn't discover until after he proposed. Embarrassing that production let Rachel set Tino up twice. She wanted answers but wouldn't let the guy speak.

The reports of John Cleese 's death were greatly exaggerated.

I just got blocked by I Think You Should Leave memes 💦🥩 becase he has a "honk if you're horny" bumper sticker. I'm crazy horny and have been honking like a mad man, and he won't help me. He has to have some magazines in the trunk that might help me.

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Shit, Twitter is about to collapse and after 13 years, I have nearly 250 followers. (Mostly porn-bots) Was all my hard work for naught?

Why is some stupid clickbait website questioning Three Year Letterman? Don't they know he owns a vintage globe?

Christmas present to myself. I think you should leave turbo team I Think You Should Leave memes 💦🥩

Greg, do you come from a royal family? greg

Plato

Throwing down in the @Pepsi #ZeroDebate to say…that man was clearly ACTING! #GreatActing #RealOrActing Pepsi Zero tastes like a lemur's asshole. No way anyone enjoys it more than RC Cola International

Any updates on the Kinks film? Is it still going to be made? Julien Temple Dave Davies

‼️ A video is circulating on Z-channels, in which, the hero of russia and deputy commander-in-chief of the Ground Forces, 57-year-old Alexander Matovnikov, dances a striptease. There are no official comments yet. Please RT ‼️‼️ #RussianArmy #RussiaIsATerroristState

#PumpRules I always got the feeling that Ariana prefers women and only had sex with Tom Sandoval once every 2-3 months. Maybe Tom couldn't pass up a shot with Raquel.

Is Kaity on #TheBachelorABC from Canada? She keeps saying "Saury" instead of "sorry".

I would literally eat a shoe before I'd eat Subway. Don't believe me? If this gets 500 retweets I will post a video of myself going to the nearest Subway restaurant and eating a shoe instead of their garbage sandwich

You can still donate here: gofundme.com/f/biff-wiff

Gerry was 100% for Leslie, until he found out Theresa has money. That was a total 180. #GoldenBachelor

Who's Jenn? #TheBachelor

I've got 1 Gig Fiber, but my #netflix is still buffering. If they are going to do these live events they need to figure out how to stop crashing.