Idk what a champagne socialist is- but I watched this 400 times easily bc I couldn’t stop thinking did he ask for one of the long spoons they use to stir up lattes and stuff from behind the counter at Starbies or does he bring his own?

Doctor said they gotta shut down the portal to souls in my belly

Influencers are just the open micers of models right?

Feel like I have lived past lives because my communication style is if I don’t hear from you for like 16 weeks or something I could care less I’m replying back “My love has never wavered for you Dollar Shave Club” or whoever

I’m the next picture in the evolution model of this body type if anyone’s looking for a hot bitch wife

Idk how to flirt but I will message you and say “you were in my dream last night ☺️”

I have cannons like Jamie Lee Curtis now cannot imagine in 30 years

Everyone who says “just get a dog!” when I’m sad about being single and all my friends/sisters have husbands/fiances - I don’t miss someone waking me up in the middle of the night when they have to piss like where are you going with this?

This is niche to just comedians probably but it took me a long time to think “ok I’m gonna have a mic in my profile picture” then there’s people who do it month one of comedy & even if they haven’t been booked in a year or more later they keep it up like “BUT I’M A COMEDIAN!” 😅

Science: “Gen Z is consuming less alcohol than previous generations we aren’t sure why” Also Science: “Hey so we figured out watching repeated short form video content is worse for your brain than alcohol” 🍺

Cane’s tastes like someone’s very white mom poorly breaded chicken and didn’t even put salt and pep in the breading just flour. Plus they don’t have one other flavor of sauce besides their own and that’s just narcissism bc it’s not even good. The toast is OK but unnecessary

People that only follow their significant other on social media are trying too hard to prove they aren’t cheating. Like you don’t even like one restaurant or music venue? Nothing? If you’re not aggressively cheating you’re just boring I’m sorry

This sounds like a name someone in a Troma movie would have 6abc.com/post/mcnairy-c…

I’m late to this but finally watching the Titan submersible doc and holy shit did they know everyone was going to die as soon as they started building that thing. “Connecting with Boeing helped a lot” yeah helped make a fuckn death trap 😅

NY friends go to this

There was a one day period like 6 years ago when they first started doing the pod at Raven that Na’im said “Sonia maybe we’ll have you as the third instead of Rob” just sayingggg

How I imagine Jake Elliott’s right leg looks compared to his left when he takes off his pants

AJ Brown at Jalen Hurts locker during this weather delay