New neighbours have just come round and said I looked 16. That's you not getting a Christmas card this year.

Blags my head that 13 year olds are competing in the olympics, meanwhile my 13 year old sister is debating what weapon she would use if a burglar broke in the house - she's settled on fidget spinners.

Me with a cherry tree chips and curry sauce every time I go beehive

Burger King before Friday night disco at ice-skating, say no more

Hahaha sister's birthday and my dog threw up in her room this morning, happy birthday hun

4 blokes on train having a cheese and wine date and one's going 'I am a connoisseur of life, I like good food and good wine, what more do you want'. You're not wrong there Steve.

I apologise to the couple who I've just caught shagging in the woods, I was only trying to follow the deer that I'd seen

As if you can get a rustler burger in tesco meal deals now, gone down in the rankings

Asked my dad to pronounce thesaurus cos he struggles pronouncing words and he goes, "Is that the south-african runner with no legs". You mean Oscar pistorius ahahaha

My dad said a while back that he wanted to go Benidorm for 3 months, well looks like his wish has come true cos they've not let him on the plane home ahaha

Someone tell me why I recreated the dirty dancing move with dj dave last night

This time last year I'd bought galentines presents for the gals as a lil pick me up during lockdown and never had the chance to give them all out 😔

Miss Paddy's day in Liverpool, can't beat it

Day 4 of having a car, red warning light came on the dashboard so got a taxi to work. Text the mechanic to come check my brakes. Long story short I'd left my handbrake on whilst driving. This driving malarkey is not for me.

Not me asking this random girl in preston train station if she wants to go for a pint cos trains been delayed and she goes 'I think I'm just going to hang here'. Currently sat in the station pub with an amstel if anyone cares to join

This video from Norwich City FC is the best bit of Mental Health Awareness I’ve ever seen… watch until the end.